I Could Win a Prize!

Guys! Twinings is having a tea story contest!!! Do you think I should enter my Lapsang Souchong one?! Click here to read more . . .

A Few Things

1. I just want to draw your attention to the sidebar link to Football Gal that says "Still Not Done with Conference Shenanigans." Or the link that I embedded right there. You know, just in case you're interested in that kind of thing.

2. A couple days ago I was making a cup of tea before work, as is my wont, and the kettle started whistling so I grabbed it and poured and I poured water straight from the kettle onto my left hand. I swore only a little, set down the kettle and the mug, shoved the hand under cold water, and . . . my hand was totally fine. Don't get me wrong, I'm very glad I didn't burn the dickens out of my hand, but the whole incident makes me think a little less of my kettle.

3. Project Runway continues to be really good, you guys. Last week they had to make outfits from stuff they bought at a party store, and for the most part the dresses actually looked really good. I was impressed. Also, Tim Gunn cracked up really hard at one point, and it was awesome.

4. Well, when I said "a cup" of tea, I really meant like 15 oz of tea, because I like really huge mugs. Look at this one I got in Dodge City:
It's practically the size of my face!!

5. And in case you're wondering, yes, that picture happened because I've finally discovered the camera in my computer. Neal has made me promise not to record any vlogs, though. (He thinks they're creepy.) Click here to read more . . .

Books and Books in Brief

Again, I've read too many books since my last books and books to put them all in one post. There are four that I want to talk about at length, so I'll do that . . . let's say tomorrow? And the rest I'll try to put in nutshells here.

An Accomplished Woman, by Jude Morgan
This is a modern book written in the vein of Jane Austen, and it's very well done. It started kind of slow--it's one of those things where the protagonist keeps insisting and insisting she's not going to do a particular thing, when OF COURSE she's going to do it, because the narrative demands it, and I hate it when the author delays the start of their real plot that way--but once things get going, it's very entertaining. Not surprising, but entertaining.

She Looks Just Like You: A Memoir of (Nonbiological Lesbian) Motherhood, by Amie Klempnauer Miller
So boring. Not only is she fairly repetitive, but she focuses on the really standard problems and issues of parenthood--which would be fine if she had an interesting spin or style to put on it, but she just doesn't. She frets a lot over being the "other" mother, but in a dull way. To add insult to injury, she sometimes hints at interesting topics and deliberately skirts them (fleeting glimpses of her own possibly crazy mother go nowhere; there was apparently some drama when she and her partner first got together but she doesn't get into it). She doesn't even have any good stories about people looking at her weird because the baby has two mommies. Once you've read the title, you've gotten as much out of this book as I have.

Under Heaven, by Guy Gavriel Kay
This is a kind of fantasy/historical fiction work about 8th Century China, and I was bowled over by how good it was. Even though it was a little uneven, I thought it was, overall, beautifully and masterfully written. I feel like I can't describe it much more without giving things away, so I'll leave it at I loved it, and I'm definitely going to seek out more of his books.

The Tea Enthusiast's Handbook: A Guide to the World's Best Teas, by Mary Lou and Robert J. Heiss
This was the most pretentious book I've ever read, and I used to be in academia. Yeah. It's one-third pretentious instruction about tea (tea bags are evil, find a trusted tea dealer who imports directly from China, use the purest water possible BUT NO DISTILLED!) and two-thirds reference material about different types of tea. Admittedly, I found it a little useful when Neal and I visited a real-live tea shop, but mostly I thought it was inadvertently hilarious.

SuperFreakonomics, by Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner
Even better than Freakonomics. The first one starts strong and then gets weaker as it goes along; this one is really solid and really interesting all the way through. It's great.

The Pioneer Woman Cooks, by Ree Drummond
I've been visiting her website for a while, and I adapted/adopted her pot roast recipe, but once I brought this cookbook home, Neal has overtaken me as a Pioneer Woman recipe fan. A very few minutes of looking at the book convinced him that we needed to buy it, so we did. It's been a big success.

Olive Kitteridge, by Elizabeth Strout
Oh man, such a bummer. It's more like a collection of short stories than a novel, but the character Olive Kitteridge--who is a mean, depressed, rather horrible old woman from Maine--ties them together. Some people really like this book, because it is well-written and original. One of my co-workers recommended it to me, and I recommended it to my friend who likes depressing books. She's going to love it.

Ocho Cinco: What Football and Life Have Thrown My Way, by Chad "Ochocinco" Ochocinco
Prepare to be shocked: this book is pointless. It's written as if Chad is talking to you, so it's not very organized or purposeful. Also, Chad "Ochocinco" Ochocinco is a ridiculous manchild, as the book does not hesitate to inform you. I finished it, although I couldn't really tell you why.

Books I tried to read but gave up on:
A Scanner Darkly, by Philip K. Dick
The most painfully dated vision of a dystopian future I've ever read or seen.

The Postmistress, by Sarah Blake
I picked this one up out of morbid curiosity because a friend of mine hated it (and resented that all the critics who liked The Help also liked this). I got maybe 10 pages into it before I realized she was right--it just came off as stupid. All the dialogue and inner monologues were ickily unrealistic, and then there was a line about the new moon shining and that's where I stopped.

Up next time: two books I really liked, and two in series that I used to like that are now almost unbearably disappointing! Click here to read more . . .

Tea Birthday

For my birthday (over a month ago), my sister got me a really cool present: lots and lots of tea.

About a week before my birthday, I got an email informing me she had gotten me a $25 Twinings online gift certificate. $25! That's a lot of tea!

For the sake of posterity, I shall now record what I ordered:
2 boxes of delicious, delicious Lemon Twist
2 boxes of family favorite (Neal and I both drink it) Prince of Wales
1 box of Blackcurrant Breeze (since it was new to me, I'll report: Kind of weird. It sort of tastes like somebody dropped a bunch of tart fruit-flavored candy in the tea. It's not bad, but I don't think it will earn a permanent place on my tea roster, either.)
1 box of Pure White tea (also new: I had been curious about this one for awhile, but didn't spring for it until I got a gift certificate because it's almost a dollar more expensive [that is, almost 30% more expensive] than the other teas. I think I'll keep buying it, though, because I really like it. Or I think I really like it? Maybe I'm just fooled into thinking it's great because it costs more? For the record, it's khaki-colored instead of white--until you add milk, and then it is pretty darn white.)
1 box of decaffeinated Lady Grey (another experiment: I think this stuff is great. [For decaf.] It tastes almost exactly like Lady Grey; it doesn't have the weird tinge to it that decaf English Breakfast [which tastes disconcertingly yeasty] or decaf Earl Grey [the store brand that I buy--for some reason, I strongly dislike Twinings' Earl Grey] have. And I like Lady Grey better to begin with than the Rooibos, so this one has taken the top spot among decaffeinated teas. Good job, decaf Lady Grey!)
1 box of regular Lady Grey, for old times' sake.

A few days later, my tea arrived--but oh, what's this? Two boxes from Twinings on my doorstep?

It turns out that not only did my sister give me the present of shopping for tea, she also bought me more tea.


I received this, the Twinings Tea Trolley, which both came with more boxes of tea and, once I dumped the packets out of their boxes, gave me a place to store much of the ridiculous amount of tea I now possessed. Score! My cabinet shelf o' tea is a much better place for it.


Now, as a post-script: sometimes I forget to comment back to comments people leave. So I'm going to respond to months-old comments on old tea entries right here, right now.

I did finally try some Chai tea. The problem is that it tastes like the holiday season, so it's weird in the springtime. I think I'll really dig it once late October rolls around, though.

Also, Hannah, your under-brewing suggestion about fruit tea made a huge difference. My instinct had been to steep as long as possible to intensify the flavor, but once you pointed it out, I realized that that washed out the fruitiness. Now I set a timer when I'm steeping fruit tea, just to make sure I don't wander off and forget it.

MacKenzie: how did brewing your own tea go? Have you started on "mommy teas" yet? Click here to read more . . .

Tea Report

I feel I should tell you about two things: how my last batch of Twinings internet tea went, and how my new batch is going.

Tea Report: First Shipment

In ascending order of awesomeness, here's how my first six boxes shook out:

6) China Oolong--I don't really care for it. I drink it sometimes because I bought it and I might as well, but I find it mostly bland and a little bitter. I'm sad its taste does not match the greatness of its name.

5) Ceylon Orange Pekoe--it turns out that I was mistaken and that this isn't orange-flavored tea, it's orange-colored tea. It, too, is a little bland, but I just add a little more honey than I do to other teas and it's a'ight.

4) African Rooibos--I started out not caring for this one (and unfortunately, I can't say how Twinings' rooibos compares to other rooiboses, as it's the only rooibos I've had), but it's grown on me. At first, it tasted like cinnamon with an aftertaste of medicine, but by about my third try the medicineyness went away and now it mostly tastes sweet. Still a little odd, but pretty good. (Oh, and I've been reading books about this African lady detective, and she drinks this tea, so I enjoy drinking it whilst I read the books. It's fun!)

3) English Afternoon--very good. I don't know what about it makes it afternoony, but I still like to drink it in the afternoon anyway, just for kicks.

2) Prince of Wales--so good! It tastes like the Platonic ideal of black tea. It's exactly how tea should taste. It's just so tea-like!

1) Lemon Twist--now, the Prince of Wales is probably "better" than Lemon Twist; I imagine that tea afficianados/snobs would sneer at pre-fruited tea (although I have nothing to base that on besides imagination). But I love it! Once you put the honey in there, it tastes like Froot Loops! But not like, if you dumped Froot Loops in some tea--more like the essence of Froot Loops as interpreted through the medium of tea. I'm drinking some right now!

Intermission: A Japanese Twinings Commercial!

When I saw my sister (who's been living in Japan) recently, she indicated that she has some hostility toward the Twinings company because of their terrible commercials. Then yesterday, she sent me a link to demonstrate.



I don't know what the problem is. That was adorable!

Tea Report: Second Shipment

For the second go-round, I reordered the favorites (Lemon Twist, Prince of Wales, and English Afternoon; since I started out slow and Neal doesn't touch it, I haven't run out of rooibos yet), got my other favorite that I could buy at the grocery store but which is cheaper online (Darjeeling--mmm, Darjeeling) and took a gamble on two new teas.

I ordered a box of Orange Bliss based on the success of the Lemon Twist and my affinity for orange-flavored stuff. So far, I'm a little disappointed; it tastes like orange Kool-Aid, which is fine for Kool-Aid but not a flavor I crave in tea. Of course, when I say "so far," I mean the one cup of it I've had. I've discovered that it often takes three tries for me to nail down a solid opinion on a tea flavor, so this verdict may yet change.

This next one will not.

In my previous tea entry, I mentioned I had to get one additional box to come up with the minimum order total, and I had to decide between the Ceylon Orange Pekoe and the Lapsang Souchong. Since Orange Pekoe carried the day last time, I wanted to give the Lapsang Souchong a chance this time. Well, it turns out that when the company describes it as a "an adventurous tea with a unique smoke flavor," they ain't kidding around.

I opened the Lapsang Souchong box and was immediately hit by the smell. (Keep in mind, when I say I opened the box, I mean I opened a box full of sealed envelopes of tea bags.) Neal was sitting halfway across the room and he could smell it. Smoke flavor? Yes indeed. You get anywhere close to this stuff, and it's like walking into a barbeque restaurant, if the hints of sweet and tomato flavors were somehow erased. It's so gross. I dumped the bags out of the box so I could put them in a Ziploc bag. Then later, I realized I needed to put the Ziploc bag inside another Ziploc bag, because the smell was still leaking out.

I had to try some.

Neal was not particularly supportive ("I don't even want to know what it's going to smell like when hot water hits it!"), but I was determined. I boiled the water (not opening the envelope to free the tea bag until the last second, and when I did yes, there was an even greater wave of Smell) and then poured it into the mug with the tea (and yes, there was more Smell when hot water entered the equation). I steeped it for awhile, not because I wanted to intensify the flavor, but because I had to steel myself to taste it.

I tasted it.

The biggest question was, did it taste worse than it smelled, or about the same? I went back and forth. Neal did try it, although I don't remember him weighing in on that specific question, just confirming that it was real bad. First I drank a little straight, then I added milk (it dampened the taste a little, but the pre-smell as I bent to drink was as ripe as ever) then honey (a lot of honey--it just tasted the same, except also with honey). I dumped most of it out.

So here's the new question: what do I do with it?

The most obvious answer is, of course, throw it out. I'm a big believer in throwing things away if you're never going to use them. But there are alternatives. Um . . . I could keep it around to try to get people to drink it on a dare! And . . . no, that's the only one I can think of. But if any of you would like to try it, send me your address . . . although I'm not sure if the USPS would approve of me sending that substance through the mail. Click here to read more . . .

The Six Boxes of Tea I Ordered from Twinings Today

1. Lemon Twist (As the Tea of the Month, it's on sale.)

2. China Oolong (Oolong! OOlOng! Oooooooooooooo! Long!)

3. Prince of Wales ("[A] pure China black tea sourced from regions including the Yunnan province and other southern regions of China. This blend is light in color and has a smooth and mild taste, with a well-rounded character." Sounds delicious!)

4. African Rooibos (Pronouned "roy-boss." I make sure to roll the R, though, making it the second-most-fun to pronounce of the teas [Hint: Oolong].)

5. English Afternoon (I know I don't have to, but I'll probably make a point of drinking it between noon and 4 PM anyway.)

6. Ceylon Orange Pekoe (After English Afternoon, I still wasn't up to the minimum order amount. Despite my reservations about getting two fruit-themed teas, it beat out Lapsang Souchong--"an adventurous tea with a unique smoke flavor and a dark rich color"--because I'm not confident I'm adventurous enough for the Lapsang Souchong yet. Maybe if I really like the "flavor of smokiness" in the English Afternoon tea.)

Total price (including over $8 for UPS ground shipping): $25.41. I think even with shipping, that's less than I would have paid at the grocery store for my next six boxes of tea. (And the grocery store won't provide me with oolong, let alone rooibos.) Click here to read more . . .

Tea!

Ahoy there, fellows and fellettes!

I have not exactly been blogging up a storm recently; I realize that. I mostly blame my computer. It's got a virus, and I know I should just call up somebody at Microsoft and politely ask them to kill the virus, kill it dead, but I know from experience that said task is going to eat up a couple hours of my life and I've been putting it off. My computer time is thus curtailed to my 15-minute breaks at work (and I often like to use five of those minutes to go next door to Walgreens, where the candy bars live) and the unpredictable amounts of time that I can use Neal's computer when he isn't using it (and he needs it to do, you know, actual work). Overall, this has been good for me. I was spending way too much time reading the internet (there's always more to read!). Alas, the blog has suffered. So now, whilst Neal is reading a book, I will tell you about how much I love tea.

I realized I had been remiss in announcing my new love to the world when I talked to my mom this week and it was the first she'd heard of it. When your own mom doesn't know something integral about your life, you know you've messed up.

Perhaps "integral" sounds like I'm overstating things, but let me explain: I am not a coffee-drinker. If I wanted something warm to drink in the morning (or anytime), I had no recourse but to drink some hot chocolate. Hot chocolate is fine, and all, but A) you can't drink more than a mug or maybe two without starting to feel a little gross and B) you feel a little ridiculous ordering it at coffee shops and C) even when you do order it at a coffee shop, you can't be sure it's going to taste good at all--it might be bitter or, worse, it might clearly be a three-cent packet of powder that they dump into hot water and charge you like they did something fancy. Oh, and D) it doesn't give you the energy boost that coffee-drinkers get, rather just a little bit of a sugar rush.

Now let me make clear: I still don't like cold tea. Iced tea still tastes to me, as it always has, like water with a little dirt in it. Sweetening it only makes it grosser. What I like is hot black tea, with copious amounts of milk and honey. (I've tried green tea a couple times with poor results. There are enough kinds of green tea that I haven't written it off, but I'm a little wary.)

I'm a big fan of Twinings brand tea. I have my internet BFF, ashpags, to thank for this, because she mentioned Lady Grey and I had to go out and try it. I wasn't a big fan the first two times I tried it, and then all of a sudden I was crazy about it. (It's weird--this exact pattern has repeated itself for most of the teas I've tried. The third time really is a charm?) (Weirder: apparently I could be making Lady Grey cookies?) (Oh man, just looking at the Twinings website makes me all giddy about all the different teas I want to try. Oolong?! What a great name!! I want it!!!)

I think it's a big part of the appeal that I enjoy making, not just drinking, the tea. That's why I bought an electric kettle from Target.com the other day. I had tried boiling the water with a regular kettle, but it's a pain and takes a surprisingly long time. The microwave, of course, only takes a couple of minutes, but it heats up the cup along with the water, which is not entirely pleasant. I got the kettle last night (as I complained on Facebook, I didn't realize UPS had delivered the kettle until I looked up its status online. I guess the UPS man didn't feel like ringing the doorbell when he left it, a good eight hours earlier) and I'm a big, big fan. The directions on teabags always say to put the boiling water over the tea instead of immersing the tea in boiling water (as happens with the microwave). I was unconvinced it made any difference until I used the electric kettle, but the tea actually does taste and look better this way. Weird! I guess it's like in science class, where it's super-important whether you pour the acid into the water or the water into the acid (I no longer remember which is desirable--oops).

So (going back to the "integral" thing) now I drink tea a lot--I make some in a travel mug to take it to work in the mornings, I drink a couple big mugfuls on a Sunday morning to watch football pregame shows (no longer applicable until September or so, but I did really enjoy it), and I make decaf in the evenings when I'm cold and want something to drink while I read. (Also, I'm now dependent enough on the caffeine that if I go a day or two without it, I get a headache. I should feel weirded out by this, but instead it just makes me feel like I've got solidarity with all the other grownups, since it seems like most of them feel that way about coffee). In conclusion, good times. Good tea times. Click here to read more . . .