Real Life and Television: Not the Same

But what if they were?

Pro: We would all be much more attractive

Con: but we would be totally incapable of forming and maintaining healthy interpersonal relationships.

Pro: We would have exciting careers, at which we would all be the very best in the world

Con: but we would get shot at a lot. And possibly our cars would explode on a regular basis.

Pro: We would always be able to come up with immediate witty retorts

Con: but we would nearly always be in the midst of elaborate yet flimsy lies, in lieu of having adult conversations.

Pro: We would all live way beyond our possible means

Con: but our friends, family, neighbors, co-workers, bosses, exes, long-lost high school pals, acquaintances, enemies, dogwalkers, and deliverymen would barge in (to our lavish apartments) at all times of day and night.

Pro: We would constantly have people to date, with whom we get a lot of action with no chance whatsoever of getting horrible diseases (and little chance of pregnancy, unless the child were due to be born during May [or, less frequently, November or February]. In an elevator).

Con: but we would in all likelihood, at some point in our lives, be left at the altar.


I'm sure there are more, but to tell you the truth, I know which one I'd choose. I mean, being able to come up with witty repartee in real time? TV-life, I'm sold!