Thoughts on Childrearing from an Interested Observer

Neal and I went to Chili's tonight (mmm . . . Chili's) and, as is not unusual, we got to see some Parenting in Action (babies love Chili's, you know). I worry sometimes about how I'll know the right way to discipline children, but I do know when I see the wrong way out in public. As annoying as it is when a parent lets their children run around, misbehaving all over the place without saying anything, I think it's even worse when the parent constantly berates, bullies, and orders around their children. After all, this usually has the same result as doing nothing, because if you yell at a kid all the time, the kid stops thinking it means anything. We sat next to a threating-without-results family tonight--both when we were waiting to be seated and then again after we were seated, because we're just that lucky--and it just kept reminding me of a poem that my parents had taped to the refrigerator. It always made good sense to me, even when I was one of the children in question. (And, of course, when I think of examples of good parenting, I think of my parents. Thanks, Mom and Dad!)

Here it is:

If a child lives with criticism,
he learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility,
he learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule,
he learns to be shy.
If a child lives with shame,
he learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with tolerance,
he learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement,
he learns confidence.
If a child lives with praise,
he learns to appreciate.
If a child lives with fairness,
he learns justice.
If a child lives with security,
he learns to have faith.
If a child lives with approval,
he learns to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship,
He learns to find love in the world.