Keeping Up With My Correspondence

Dear landlady,

Hey gee thanks for turning off the furnace, that was really practical. After all, in Wisconsin there are never times in May where the weather doesn't get above 50 degrees as a high and then gets down below freezing at night and then snows or anything.

Oh wait.

Regards,
Rachel

* * * * * * * *

Dear landlady,

So, while I was writing my previous missive, you came over and turned the furnace back on. So, um, actual thanks this time.

Sincerely,
Rachel

* * * * * * * *

Dear older men at the library who pretend jokingly pretend I'm flirting with you when I'm just being friendly,

Please don't.

Sincerely,
Rachel

* * * * * * * *

Dear man at the library who referred to your library fines as a "debt to society" and then took it too far by asking where the spankings are given,

Don't.

Sincerely,
Rachel

* * * * * * * *

Dear man at the library who felt the need to let me know that a women with words on her shirt draws his attention to the shirt-covered area,

Do. Not.

Sincerely,
Rachel

* * * * * * * *

Dear Spider Solitaire,

I'm so glad you're on my new computer. And, again, sorry that I had to delete you off my old computer for being too distracting, and also the computer before that. But now that I don't have to write papers anymore, who cares if you're distracting? I missed you so much. Let's never fight again!

Love,
Rachel


Editor's note: After posting this entry, the author immediately lost three consecutive games of Spider Solitaire.

Editor's note note: Make that four.