This is What Writing Papers Does to My Mind

Do you ever worry, when you add a word to your Microsoft Word dictionary, that it will backfire? For instance, I'm writing a paper that draws on the work of one Nicholas Henshall, and in order not to get a squiggly red line under his name over and over and over and over, I added "Henshall" to my dictionary. This means Word will never again zero in on "Henshall" and suggest alternatives, namely "Hen shall" or "Hens hall." So what if, in the future, I'm writing a paper about the societal features of some elaborate chicken coop and need to say "the hen shall not allow her plans to be thwarted," but I mess it up and put "henshall" because Word can no longer save me from that particular error?

It makes one's blood run cold, doesn't it? Click here to read more . . .

Unhelpful Headlines

"Texas A&M graduates encouraged to embrace Aggie values"

For those who don't know, this is the equivalent of a story being published about any other university like so: "University graduates encouraged to set goals, succeed" or "Commencement speaker opines on past, future."

(Although it's still no "Stereotypes dehumanize, study finds.") Click here to read more . . .

Here They Are . . .

. . . The long awaited quiz answers. And, since it turns out that the quiz was really hard, I've decided to inflate the scores (good practice, if I ever get a job at an Ivy League school!) by increasing the points and giving partial credit. So here we go:

1. My new age: 24
2 points for knowing that I am now 2 dozen years old.

2. My many many t-shirts are: maroon
I have: 18
2 points for maroon; 2 points for my dad and Angela for 15, one point for Ross for saying 20 even though he didn't get the color right

3. My final score on Jeopardy!: -2000
2 points for -2000, 1 point for anything else less than zero
(That was kind of a trick question, since you couldn't let the fact that I BET IT ALL and lost it all on the Daily Double cloud your memory of me going ahead and missing the last question, too.)

4. Number of seasons of Friends and South Park: 7
2 points for 7; 1 point for 6 or 8

5. So, I tried to write a confusing question as clearly as I could, but I obviously failed, since only one person got the answer (bonuse excluded) completely right. Ergo, I'm giving points for the constituent parts.
Number after the name of my favorite King of England: 7, as in Henry VII.
One point for 7, and .5 for MacKenzie who knew it was 7, and then added a one because the wording was odd. (But not a whole point because she did--and was the only person to!--get the Acie part right, which was worded the same way.)
Order number of my favorite president: 2, as in John Adams.
One point for 2; .5 for 33, as in Harry Truman (close second!)
Number after the name of my favorite basketball player: 4, as in Acie Law IV.
One point for 4; .5 for 1, his jersey number, which is where almost everyone's minds went.
The total: 10
Two points for 10--go Angela!
My favorite Napoleon: 3, as in Napoleon III, one of the most amusing world leaders of the 19th Century.

For favorites, every correct answer is worth 2 points. No partial credit, because there are some things about which I must put my foot down. (And I can't really think of good second-place opinions for any of these. My favorites are just too good!)
6. Favorite Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back (Episode V)
7. Favorite Harry Potter: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, a.k.a. the fourth one
8. Favorite member of Monty Python: Michael Palin (he's the cute one!)
9. Favorite sport with rackets: Badminton! (you know what? extra .5 for spelling. It's a tricky word.)
10. Favorite reality show: Project Runway

And now, the standings (um, but it may be totally wrong; you should probably check my math--if you're annoyed that this quiz was too hard to answer, you should take comfort in how hard it was to grade):
10th place: Token (5 points)
9th place: Molly (9)
8th place: Ross (9.5)
7th place: Lesley (10, but I'm going to ahead and award her another .5 for her reality show answer: "Who Wants to Sleep with William Daniels." Not that I'd actually go on that show. At eighty years old, he'd be kind of a creepy prize.)
6th place: Lindsay (11)
Tied for 5th place: Craig and Eric (11.5)
4th place: Nancy (13.5)
3rd place: Angela (14.5)
2nd place: MacKenzie (15)
and . . .
1st place: my dad, who got 16 but probably deserves 18.5 (I can't be completely certain because he didn't show his work on #5).

Thanks to all who participated in the 1st Annual Rachel's Birthday Challenge! Click here to read more . . .

you can't evaluate a sentence that you don't possess with your memory

. . . is the subject of a great piece of junk email I received today. The sender's name? "The canadian army makes war to the mentally sane people". I actually tried to read it, which was difficult, as you can tell from this excerpt:

"Sane doctors don't fight each other, not for economic motive, not forgeneral security motive respecting exact national and international rules;in any conflict almost one fighter is mentally insane. Communists andnazists are either mentally insane, or they got the reason. Kamikaze bombersare severe maniacs and agents of devil, enemies of their own god, lord ofmedicine."

How true that is. Click here to read more . . .

Because Weird Al Makes Everything Better

Ever since my Regrettable Game Show Outcome, I have found this old favorite of mine newly (and strangely) comforting.

Click here to read more . . .

Astronomy is Pretty Cool

I was reminded of that fact when I clicked this link, suggested to me (for reasons beyond my understanding) by Gmail (which does many things beyond my understanding, only a few of which are dumb and most of which are scarily ingenious**). Long story short, the link says that the Sun's core is probably spinning five times as fast as its outside. How can they tell? It's hard to say. Why should anyone care? Ditto. But I defy you to think it's an uncool piece of information.

I really really really wanted to be an astronomer when I grew up from about second to about eighth grade. That's an eternity in child years. This determination probably sprang from the fact that planets are pretty.
























Planets are so fascinating; wonderful and horrible at the same time. And the wonder and the horror have the same reasons; they're so far and so massive and so alien. Can you imagine traveling to any of them? How long and lonely it would be, through those unimaginably vast expanses of nothingness that are still tiny gaps compared to the emptiness between stars, let alone between galaxies. Can you imagine being right above the surface of Jupiter, knowing that were you on its surface, its gravity would crush you but then again that there was no surface, only clouds and storms and swirling winds? How cold would Pluto* feel, if only you could survive it?

It's too bad astronomy involves so many numbers and stuff. Gross.



*If it was a planet when I memorized them in second grade, I say it's a planet now.

**I tell ya, all we can hope for is WHEN Google takes over the world, they'll be benevolent dictators. Odds are good! Click here to read more . . .

It's a Quiz!

Since my birthday is pretty much tomorrow, I decided that was a good excuse to make a quiz about myself and see if you, my internet people, would answer them. Whoever wins gets the internet equivalent of a cookie!

There are ten questions, with a possible total of 12 points. Answer in the comment section--I'm going to hide the answers until Saturday or so to keep people from metaphorically peeking at their neighbors' papers.

Facts and Figures
1. How old will I be on Thursday?
2. I have more t-shirts of this color than any other. By a whole lot. What is this color?
Bonus: how many of this color of t-shirt do I have? (The person or people to guess the closest gets the point.)
3. What was my final dollar amount when I was on Jeopardy!?
4. I own the same number of seasons of Friends as seasons of South Park on DVD. What is that number?
5. Take the number after the name of my favorite King of England
Multiply by the order number of my favorite US President
Subtract the number after the name of my favorite basketball player
What number do you get?
Bonus: divide it by the number of my favorite Napoleon!

Opinions
In my opinion, what is the best:
6. Star Wars movie?
7. Harry Potter book? (I will accept ordinal answers, e.g. “the eighth one.” Don’t say “the eighth one,” though. Just a tip for the non-Harry Potter fans out there.)
8. Member of Monty Python?
9. Sport involving rackets?
10. Reality tv show? Click here to read more . . .