My Top Model Predictions

Well, we're down to the top six in Cycle 12: "These girls are so boring we're just picking short girls next time, because maybe there are some of those left that have any personality, at all!" (Um, Tyra and Mr. Jay were too tired to think of a more concise slogan.) Next week, they'll all be in Brazil, which is actually kind of interesting, since it's a country that is associated with fashion in any way. (I'm looking at you, The Netherlands.)

So here are my predictions for the order in which the final six will get sent back to America.

Sixth place:
Aminat. She's just gotten too many (deserved) bad reviews. She's got the looks, but she doesn't know what to do with them. She just doesn't understand Tyra's Guide to Owning Your Inner Fiereness. (Apparently, you've got to start girls on that young, like with Jedi.) Plus, she got 140% less awesome as soon as they took away her 'fro.











Fifth place:
Allison. (Nickname: Lemur Eyes.) Oh, the judges love those weird eyes. LOVE THEM. However, like Aminat, she just keeps doing the same old thing. Final five is when they usually do the go-sees (running around auditioning for designers in a foreign city--navigating by yourself) and, as the cycle's designated Weird Girl, Allison is destined to screw those up.









Fourth place:
Natalie. All cycle, this has been my reaction to hearing or reading the name "Natalie" in connection with this show: "Natalie? Natalie . . . . Oh, Natalie, riiiiiight." She's so boring and yet so unpleasant. I'm not sure how those go together, but Natalie (it's Natalie, right? Yeah, Natalie) pulls it off. Also, Paulina is underwhelmed by the planes of her face. (That sounds weird, but makes perfect sense in context.) By this week, I think the judges will be sick of her. They'll either give her the "resting on pretty" or "lack of personality" brush-off.









Third place:
Teyona. (Nickname: Wind Face.) I like Teyona. I think she's good. She's got great FierceFace. However, her smile is terrifying. (Terrifying.) I predict she'll easily make the top three, but I can't see her making it through the Cover Girl commercial and the Cover Girl photo shoot with that smile. Sorry, girl.










Second Place:
Fo. Aw, Fo's so cute. And she takes good pictures. I've even forgiven her for her dumb name. (Even though she gave that nickname to herself so yes, it is her fault.) She really pulls off that short hair, but she is shorter than the other girls. And when it comes down to the top two, they do a big runway show to decide the winner, and there's no way she can out-walk . . .












America's Next "Top" "Model":
Celia. Yeah, Celia looks old, y'all. She's twenty-five (so she is the oldest of the whole bunch) but from some angles she looks forty-five. But she's one of those people (like Annaleigh last year) who is just really good at doing all the Top Model junk. She's good at challenges, she's good at most photo shoots, she's good at runway walking, and she's just excellent in front of the judging panel. Those weirdos adore her (except for that one week she threw that other girl under the bus--and I still insist that she would have gotten away with it had she just timed it better). I think it's hers to win as long as she doesn't mess up (like Annaleigh last year, who inexplicably bombed the Cover Girl commercial when she'd been awesome at the first commercial did. Poor Annaleigh). She'll kill at go-sees (unless Brazilians are horrified by her olditude) because she's good with people and smart enough to get herself from place to place. She ought to knock her commercial out of the park (although the Cover Girl photo is a danger spot for her). And even if Natalie (who walks really well, maybe slightly better than Celia) makes it to the final two with her, her personality and the judges' liking of her will put her over the top.

So, those are my official predictions. I feel like the weakest one is Fo in the final two . . . maybe Allison will do well at her go-sees? Yeah . . . she's my unofficial backup prediction for final two.