Current Nemesis List

My nemeses, as of 10/19/2007:

Sean Cunningham (because he wrote a new biography of Henry VII before I got to, that's why)

That really incompetent, super-stupid guy who works at the circulation desk of my library

Jane Fonda

Coach Fran

Brent Musburger

Shonda Rimes Click here to read more . . .

A Post That's Either about Baseball or Racism--Pick Your Favorite!

Everybody's heard that it's 2007, right? The 21st century is old enough to be in second grade now--maybe it knows how to write in cursive. So raise your hand if you don't have some measure of disbelief that this--

is still the Cleveland Indians' mascot.

Really, Cleveland? Really?

Bob Harris puts it better, and more vehemently, than I am going to do, but his post only reminded me of something I'd already found really obvious.

If any particular Bugs Bunny cartoon contained a caricature like this (and maybe some did), TV stations would have stopped airing it decades ago. If this character were the equivalent depiction of a black or Asian person, it would be long gone. In fact, somebody on the internet made this point visually:

I can't decide whether the weirdest thing is that Native Americans are the one ethnic group that is widely used as a sports mascot or whether it's that--somehow--"Chief Wahoo" has escaped the political correctness smackdown on the worst abuses of Native American mascottage. (Well, them and the Washington Redskins. Seriously, I bet you'd be just as likely to call Native Americans "redskins" to their faces as you would to call a black person the n-word. Think about it.)

Sometimes I think the whole political correctness thing gets out of hand, yes. But I disagree strongly with people who use the term only in a derogatory sense. Political correctness, at its heart, is about respect; respect as mandated by mere common decency. It's about acknowledging that people--no matter their race, gender, religion, sexual orientation, etc.--deserve to be understood and appreciated as individual human beings. Not as stereotypes, not as jokes, and not as this.

Click here to read more . . .

Television Round-Up

Last year, the shows I made time for were 1. (far and away top television priority) House, 2. Grey's Anatomy, and 3. (becoming increasingly important as the season wore on) Ugly Betty. Things have shifted somewhat, so (in particular order) here are my opinions on some shows.

House

I dunno . . . I watched the first two episodes, and it was . . . fine. I didn't watch last week's (which my roommate told me was really good) because I just was entranced enough by the first two to arrange my evening around it.

Clearly, this is a different situation from past seasons.

I'm not quite sure what my deal is. Maybe it's that the ducklings (you know, Chase, Cameron, and Foreman) weren't in them enough. Maybe it's because I feel like they're going the wrong direction, adding new apprentice doctors instead of exploring the interesting and underdeveloped characters they already have.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not breaking up with House. I'm just not as invested as I'm used to being. So we'll see.

America's Next Top Model

I'm not going to tell you that America's Next Top Model is a good show. It isn't.

It has the standard reality show staples: unrealistically catty people shoved into a house together, "challenges," eliminations, and incredible host vanity. And I must say, in that last category, ANTM excels. The force of Tyra Banks' ego could power a medium-sized city.

But what really sets ANTM apart is the ridiculousness. Let's start with the fact that it's about modeling. Modeling and reality are not, as you may be aware, close associates. But ANTM is even operating in the universe of the modeling industry. The winners of the show don't actually get to become top models . . . they're too old, they look weird, and if they had the ability to become models, they wouldn't have to go on the show.

My favorite part is the stupid photo shoots that they do. Tonight's theme? "Super-duper high fashion gargoyles." I invite you to read that phrase one more time.

Plus, they get coached by ludicrous people, like that time they got taught how to twirl by professional twirlers--not baton-twirling, mind you. Twirling around. Like, spinning. Professional twirlers. And tonight, they were told how to pose while jumping on trampolines by, as his caption told us, "Benny Ninja: posing instructor."

My gentleman caller is earning all kinds of points watching this show.

Ugly Betty

SO GOOD!

Hilarious, engaging, interesting . . . I don't know what else to say.

I mean, it's just so good.

Carpoolers

I don't care, I'm just going to say it. This show is funny. It's stupid, but on purpose, which is always key. The characters are caricatures, but well-drawn ones. My favorite one is Dull White Guy's son, who is basically an extroverted Napoleon Dynamite. He makes me laugh.

On a final tv-related note, Dean Cain apparently is guest starring on Smallville this week. How did that take so long?

Click here to read more . . .

Keeping Up With My Correspondence

Dear dudes who roll up their right pants leg while bicycling to keep it from getting caught in the chain,

Hey, here's an idea--once you get off the bike, roll it back down.

Love,
Rachel

* * * * * * * *

Dear people who just spit on the ground, as if that's acceptable,

Are you kidding with this? STOP IT.

Love,
Rachel

* * * * * * * *

Dear that albino lady who rides my bus,

Your hair is so great. I mean, it's not like hair that's white because of age, not a snow white; it's like vanilla ice cream. It's so pretty. I mean, my condolences on being an albino, I suppose, but my point is, there's an upside.

Love,
Rachel Click here to read more . . .

While I Was Out . . .

Now, I'm not going to pretend that, when I quit the internet, I totally quit the internet. For one thing, it would be a justifiably fireable offense for me not to check my email. I'm a TA, it was exam week--several of my students would have had heart attacks.

Otherwise, my most significant form of cheating came through my Google News page. The justification: it's news! It's good for me! Of course, since I have some personalized categories, one of which is Texas A&M, that was the principal way I was able to keep up with the continually unfurling FRANDAL!. But I'll come back to that later.

A similar justification was used for my keeping up with blonde Republican banter and a random musing. Keeping up with my friends; why, that's just a courtesy. I even made the concession of not leaving comments on said blogs--that's good, right?

I also glanced at a few very small things on Television Without Pity. . . . I'm not going to pretend I have any excuse for that.

But the point is, I cut down on my internet consumption by a huge fraction. Here's some of what I missed (most of which I haven't caught up with yet, because I'm trying not to internet-binge):


6 cartoons on xkcd, including this hilarious one:


9 news stories on Mugglenet

10 posts at Blonde Champagne

11 birthdays on Facebook (which reminds me . . . Happy [belated] Birthday, Craig!)

41 answers & rambles at my Gargoyles website, Ask Greg (an unusally high number for a two-week span--Greg's been hard at work, apparently)

51 fuggings

and angry posts without number on TexAgs


Ah . . . the internet. Click here to read more . . .

A Tudor Memo

From the desk of Henry the Eighth, by the Grace of God, King of England and France, Defender of the Faith and Lord of Ireland

25 June 1530


Hey everyone,

I hope you all enjoyed your weekend. Casual Friday sure was a hoot, wasn't it? However, some of us took things a bit too far (I won't name names, but someone whose name rhymes with Bardinal Folsey should have kept his tights on under his pantaloons), so Casual Friday is being discontinued in perpetuity.

But on to business.

I know that this whole "divorce" thing has been keeping us very busy for quite a while. Would I have liked to have it all settled by now? Sure. Am I pointing fingers at people who haven't been working hard enough on this? Absolutely not. (Although someone whose name rhymes with Tardinal Molsey was apparently exaggerating how tight he was with the Pope. Not that it matters; really, it's all water under the bridge.)

Fortunately, I've found a solution. Of course, I don't mean to brag, but this idea I've come up with is quite a doozy. (It's amazing what my mind can do when I just sit and really think about things, isn't? First my Assertio, and now this. If you don't mind me saying so, wow. Just wow.)

Are you ready?

Wait for it . . .

Bigamy.

It's great! Everybody wins! Catherine, who's been a valuable member of the team for 20 years now (notwithstanding God's obvious judgement for our connubial crimes against Him), gets to keep her position. She'll even get to split the arduous duties of queenship--which she's been a real sport about--with a, if you will, "buddy." Mary gets to stay my #1 gal. And, best of all, we can bring in a new, dynamic, fresh face who will, by the grace of God Almighty, bear me male issue.

I am--as always!--eager to hear your feedback. Don't worry, I've already been sending out feelers in various directions on the Continent. We should focus all of our attention on this, because I think it's a real winner!

Go get 'em, tigers!
HENRICUS OCTUS REX ANGLIAE

PS: I'm sure this goes without saying, but let's just keep this between ourselves on the Council for now. It's early days yet, so let's keep it quiet.


cc: Anne Boleyn Click here to read more . . .

Try Not to Be Too Distraught . . .

FYI, I'm quitting the internet for the next 2 weeks. I've got too much school to do. As much as I enjoy posting my opinions on dumb things and football, it always takes a fairly large chunk of time for me to do.


I'll be back on roughly the 16th to tell you what I think about the new season of House, the rollercoaster that is college football, and any other topic of grave import that demands my attention.


Until then, here's a picture of Clancy covered in $2 bills.


Click here to read more . . .