Basketball: Annoying Championship

Since I'm watching the Florida-Ohio State game (go Ohio State, by default!) all alone (all aloooonnnne), I decided to share some of my thoughts on it with you, the internet. (Well, the reason I'm watching it all aloooooonnne is because I am sick, but I cannot spread my cold to you, the internet.)

8:00ish: It has to be said, and I'll try just to say it once, but Joakim Noah . . . he makes me feel like I'm going to throw up in my mouth a little. Ew.

8:20ish: I really like OSU's bright red uniforms. They're very vibrant.

8:25ish: I'm so glad OSU is making some shots. The last game I watched, Florida-UCLA, was like watching high school girls' basketball. OK, no, scratch that--it was like watching bad high school girls' baksetball.

8:27: They're talking about Joakim Noah wants to come out (of the game) because he's so tired? Really?!? They've been playing for 3 1/2 minutes! Suck it up, spaz!

8:31: I'm entertained by how much ol' Billy Packer keeps complaining about the refs calling too many fouls. Get after 'em, old dude!

8:32: Corey Brewer got hit by Greg Oden's elbow? Really? It looked like he just fell over, which would have been a lot funnier.

8:33: Billy Packer just said "I don't know why players have to come out at all [when they get five fouls]. It's doesn't happen in any other sport!" For some reason, I find that vastly entertaining.

8:34: And Greg Oden travels. Raise your hand if you're surprised. Sometimes, I think, "That really old looking kid is pretty darn good at basketball!" And sometimes it's, "What a big clumsy ogre." But, uh, in the nicest way I could mean that. (Go Ohio State! I guess!)

8:39: This has nothing to do with this game, but how happy is this bear?!

8:42: Again with the talking about how the players are tired! They're only halfway through the first half! What kind of namby-pamby practices do Thad Matta and Billy Donovan run?

8:44: Oh, I'm sorry, according to Billy Packer, it's Billy "Dunnovan."

8:48: Why in the world do basketball games need aerial blimp coverage? (Hint: they don't.)

8:49: White guy dunk alert! And (heh heh) it was by Terwilliger, which name always makes me laugh. Not only is it just a funny combination of sounds, but . . . Bob Terwilliger!

8:51: Jim Nantz: "They call him [I don't know, some OSU guy] Microwave because he can heat up so quickly!" They do? That's pretty lame of them.

8:53: Jim Nantz: "And Florida has a double-digit lead!" Oh joy. Thad Matta needs to take a timeout because, you guessed it, his team is REALLY TIRED.

8:55: Oh good, that commercial with hip-hop "Sweet Home Alabama." Who thought that would be a good idea?

9:04: An 11-point lead for Florida going into halftime. How ideal.

I think I'm going to stop now, partly because I should be doing something more productive, and partly because this is a really cranky entry. I will make one final point, though: You know those Hartford commercials with the bad CGI elk? Couldn't they get a better CGI elk? Or a real elk? I keep thinking a real elk would be cheaper. And would look better. Everybody wins, including the elk, who'd probably get a salt lick in addition to becoming the most famous elk around.

Edited to Add: 10:13: The highlight of the game--they showed Jim Tressel (the OSU football coach)!

Oh my gosh, he's so adorable. He looks like Harry Truman in a sweater vest. Too bad he doesn't have much to be happy about--just like the last national championship matchup between these two freakin' schools. (You'd think there would be enough national championship games to go around, but noooooooooo. Win hogs.)