Dear Google News,
The fictional death of fictional (and not even popular/relevant enough to star in a major motion picture or Kids WB cartoon) Captain America? Really?
This is the biggest non-story since Barbie dumped Ken.
Love,
Rachel
*******
Dear Ann Coulter,
John Edwards wanted me to write and thank you for reminding people that he's in the Democratic race, too. Oh, and so did the Coalition for People Who Want the F-Word to Become the New N-Word. You've been ever so helpful!
Love,
Rachel
P.S. Have you tried letting your natural hair color grow back in? Just food for thought.
*******
Dear the Big XII North,
When did you guys get so lousy at, like, sports? I don't mean to kick you when you're down, since all four of your teams in the first round of the tournament got beat DOWN today, but . . . it's just not fair for all of you to get to play each other so much (I'm looking at your undefeated division record, KU), when the Big XII South has--because they're better than you, frankly--a much tougher time playing amongst themselves.
Step it up, is all I'm saying.
(KU basketball, you're doing a fine job. This doesn't apply to you. Just your football team. . . . You don't need to win the tournament to prove yourselves to me. Really. In fact, take it easy. Really.)
Love,
Rachel
Slouching Towards Charterstone
20 hours ago
6 comments:
Every Captain America article I've seen has tried to use the event to take shots at President Bush, so I think that's why it's news (i.e. Captain America died defending fake America from the same threats George Bush poses in real life). Such desperation.
Speaking of Google News, do you get a lot of articles about English soccer? I get them almost every day, despite never clicking on them and not caring about them.
No, I don't get those. I do get a lot (A LOT) of celebrity gossip even though I . . . only occasionally click on them. But less on them than on other stuff!
I thought Ken dumped Barbie; too concerned with her career and hanging out at Malibu.
No way; Ken was holding her back.
Rachel, I heart your correspondence. Really. It fills my heart with joy.
With RBS and the correspondence column,you're working your way up to your own newspaper. The Rachel Times? The Rachel Chronicles?
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