Saturday, January 5, 2008

Small Towns are Fierce!


I've been watching VH1's Super Modelthon (all 9 cycles of America's Next Top Model, which lasts all week long!) and--SHOCKINGLY--many of the contestants have said stupid things.

What's really bothered me is when girls from small town abuse their small town status. For instance, Kimberly (Cycle 9) is from Ocala, Florida, population 49,749. She had to do a runway walk in some crazy "high-fashion" dress and did not do well. Her excuse was "We just don't have designers in my town!" I believe there are no designers in her town. But you know what her town does have? TV. Also? Magazines. Here's a tip: if you're going to try to be a model, check one of those out.

This pales in comparison with the egregious statement made by Samantha (Cycle 8). She talked about her hometown, Pinson, Alabama, and said: "It's like the smallest town in America." Uh no, honey, it's not. There are 5,000 people there. I don't know if you've heard this, but there are like, more than 4,000 numbers smaller than 5,000. But in all seriousness, it's not even the smallest town in its county. There's no excuse for you not to know of towns smaller than yours, much less not be able to imagine the existence of such a thing. Plus, Pinson is a suburb of Birmingham, so in reality, you're from a million-person metro area.

I feel like I should come up with a clever putdown here, but I'm just going to go with: you're an idiot.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

You are from a small town if you know the names of all the stray dogs; if cattle wander into your back yard; if you have to leave town to find a store that sells frozen burritos.

Craig said...

The model from Grand Forks, ND, whom I believe won the thing one year, also claimed to be from a small town, which she is not. Grand Forks is one of ND's metropolitan areas. It has a medical school, a law school, and the state's biggest-name sports team (Sioux hockey).