Keeping Up With My Correspondence

Dear Obama,

Hey! Congratulations on your impending inauguration, and all that hoopla. Quick thing, though: stop it about pushing the digital switch back. Stopitstopitstopit. The commercials have been on for a year; anybody who didn't realize that and precisely when the switch was coming clearly never turns on their television, so they won't miss it when it's gone. Also, this article is right--pushing it back will just confuse the issue and continue to cost TV stations money running the same channel in two ways.

Just, c'mon, stop it. You have more important things to focus on, like introducing a playoff system for college football.

Love,
Rachel

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Dear Saturday Night Live,

Man, you are terrible. You're good for what, one laugh per hour? Maybe you should only exist in election-spoof form.

Sincerely,
Rachel

P.S.: Kristen Wiig? Why are you, or anyone, employing her?