Guilty Displeasures, Pt. 2: The Neal File

And now, for my inaugural post on our blog, my top three guilty displeasures:

3. Peanuts:

Man, do I feel bad about this one. Most people I know seem to have real great memories of growing up with Charlie Brown and the gang. Watching the holiday specials, reading the Sunday comic strips, and enjoying Charlie's endless humiliation as he never, ever gets to kick the football. Though I do remember watching the Christmas special when I was a kid, I just. don't. get. it. The comic strip was never funny (at least none that I ever read) and really, the whole thing was always pretty depressing. Charlie is always sad and run-down, that one kid always stinks, and Linus clings desperately to his security blanket as the only source of existential comfort in the children's bleak, disjointed world. In other words, it just isn't any fun. I feel bad about it, but . . . meh.



2. Baseball:



Don't get me wrong, I love the idea of baseball. Watching James Earl Jones tell Mr. and Mrs. America what baseball has meant to their country gets me choked up every time. And nothing, nothing can make a grown man cry faster than this:



And yet, I've just never been able to get excited about the sport itself. Part of the problem is that I was always more of a basketball kid than a baseball kid. If I had never met my Dad, I would build a basketball court in my cornfield, so he could come back to life and and play me in HORSE. Hey, this script writes itself . . .

1. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory:

Oh no, I don't even mean the Tim Burton remake. I mean the original Gene Wilder crowd- pleaser. Bring on the hate. I don't even feel bad about this one. I hate, hate, HATE everything about this movie. I hate that Charlie works all day to support his allegedly invalid grandparents, but guess what? When Charlie finds a ticket to tour a magical chocolate factory, suddenly Gramps is feeling young and spry! I hate that an eccentric billionaire candy-maker invites children into his own personal Neverland ranch and tortures them for two hours. I hate that he plays some seriously-twisted mind games with Charlie to determine if he is worthy to take over the factory. What a terrible, terrible movie.